Lessons from a lazy weekend

Coming off of a delightfully lazy weekend - yoga, playing on the Wii Fit, watching movies, reading and hanging out on the couch with John and all of the animals (including the world's cutest kitty who really really needs a good home).

I finished Sarah Dessen's The Truth About Forever and Just Listen, both sweetly satisfying if somewhat simple YA books that I really identified with, for different reasons. In The Truth About Forever, the main character struggles through getting over the sudden loss of her Dad by trying to be as perfect as possible. In Just Listen, the main character finds love with the outsider boy who is obsessively passionate about music. A key message from both is that you can't deny the ugliness of your past, which is certainly something I continue to struggle with. Both girls are quick to use one of my often used phrases - "It's fine" - for all of us it usually means, "things are not fine but let's all pretend that they are cause that feels easier right now." In Dessen's books, there's always a thoughtful, handsome boy who compassionately guides the main characters through the heartache of moving on. Cheaper than a therapist, certainly, but not particularly realistic for a 31 year old married lady. Especially one who is so obstinate about doing everything herself.

Now that I think about it, Jenn's Hatha class on Saturday morning kindof fit with this theme as well. It was a really restorative class, lots of props and heart opening, and slowly moving between poses. Jenn talked a lot about the concept of "storylines" - basically, the idea that we're always working to convey our storyline - our idea of who we are and what we're about. The storyline is usually a myth - a way of forcing ourselves into compartments and easy definitions. At the end of class, during savasana, Jeff Buckley's version of Leonard Cohen's Halleluja started playing - that song's always a trigger for me and I quietly cried, which felt really nice, actually.

It's been a while since I had some time to sit around and lazily digest things, and all of the reading and watching and generally taking things in feels like preparation for something. Maybe I'll finally start writing (REALLY writing, not just the blathering that happens here) or just start to get some real clarity about why bad things sometimes happen to (relatively) good people.